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View Full Version : Are You a Hugger?


Sam
10-09-2014, 04:25 PM
I'm just curious. :P
I've made a "mommy friend" and dh thinks it's hilarious that she's a hugger and I am so. not.
We had open house at school Tuesday and she came up and hugged me and dh said I looked at him like "what do I DO?" Lol
I just don't hug, I don't think about it until someone wants to hug me, and then it's usually family. My lifelong bestie and I don't hug unless one of us is crying which is rare.

scarygothgirl
10-09-2014, 04:38 PM
I don't hug. Not at all. I hug my husband. And my cats. But I do not hug anyone else, especially not family. It's just weird. Why would I want to press my body against someone?

Xinnamon
10-09-2014, 04:59 PM
It depends. I like to hug but I try to read body language and won't do it if the person doesn't look like she/he is comfortable with one.

purple
10-09-2014, 05:05 PM
I'm a total hugger... But I respect that other are not!

mina
10-09-2014, 05:10 PM
I'm a moderate hugger.

blythe_ann
10-09-2014, 05:29 PM
^ A moderate hugger-- I'm taking that one, too.

I never initiate hugs, mainly because I'm not thinking about it...but I gladly accept them! My parents, because they never gave verbal affirmation (I didn't hear "I love you" from my dad until late into high school) hugged every once in a while, so I think hugging is "special", so I don't just jump at people to hug. It's really hard for me when someone is crying, because I naturally want to hug them, but at the same time, I'm kind of scared to do it!

Kehaar
10-09-2014, 08:07 PM
https://s-media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/0a/e8/ba/0ae8baa7b4c4e42165ed2770ddd57d9a.jpg

snooch
10-09-2014, 08:19 PM
I am so not a hugger! I love to hug my husband and my dog - that's about it.

It's funny this question came up. My best friend in CA knows how much I am not a hugger. The few times I've hugged her have been mostly at her initiation, and even then I was like hugging at the shoulders but standing a foot away between our bodies, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, last week her husband was back in town after being gone a long time, and the four of us went to dinner together. On the way to the car after, this elderly woman overheard me talking and just jumped into the conversation. Turns out she is a Christian and was a missionary in Venezuela for a long time and she just started talking about her life for a while. In the middle of all this she randomly looked at me and said, "Are you a hugger? Because I want to hug you but I learned a long time ago that I had violated a friend's boundaries, so now I always ask." And what could I do, she was this old lady who wanted people to talk to and she wanted to hug me - of course I had to say, "Yes, sure!" And my friend is standing over her shoulder laughing her butt off and mouthing, "L-I-A-R" at me. :P

mum2only1
10-09-2014, 08:46 PM
I'm a hugger. :-) I don't mind if someone hugs me or not. It's a sign that they like me and want to say hello. I'm ok with that.
Those of you that don't like hugging would not like Australia because not only do they hug...they kiss the cheek. I remember my mother coming to visit and she had the look as if to say,"What the heck?!!!"

katzankatz
10-09-2014, 08:49 PM
No thanks. I will hug if it's initiated by the other person, and it doesn't gross me out or anything, but I prefer not. I wouldn't so much mind the "side hug" thing made popular by the Duggar family and the courting couples. It's much less intimate, yet friendly.

snooch
10-09-2014, 10:52 PM
I'm a hugger. :-) I don't mind if someone hugs me or not. It's a sign that they like me and want to say hello. I'm ok with that.
Those of you that don't like hugging would not like Australia because not only do they hug...they kiss the cheek. I remember my mother coming to visit and she had the look as if to say,"What the heck?!!!"

Italians do the cheek kissing too - both cheeks. I'd forgotten until my husband and I went to Italy a few years ago so he could meet my Italian side of the family. Lots of kissing going on that week. :/

Sam
10-09-2014, 11:03 PM
I would be very uncomfortable with that. When I was pregnant I had a few little old ladies at would kiss me. Mostly like my grandpas girlfriend, who was like a grandma to me, but also my best friends mom and even my tax lady!
I was totally touched out!

Xinnamon
10-09-2014, 11:19 PM
My SIL got all kissy with us after she moved to France. I'm not a fan.

Sage
10-09-2014, 11:54 PM
I will go with "moderate hugger". I've learned to hug over time :D When I first came to the US the amount of hugging freaked me out LOL I would try to give the "please don't hug me" look because once someone had met you a few times it was an automatic hug on meeting. Over the years I've gotten used to it enough that I'll even initiate, or at least participate, in the hug with my closer friends :D Sometimes it's even welcome (my pastor gives great big bear hugs :D) I have no problem being huggy with my kids, it's really just non-family members that I had an issue with.

GM
10-10-2014, 01:39 AM
I'm a hugger in the right scenario :) I don't hug strangers :P

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/45/45bc0b26aa9ff1cb4ce40685dd2e7c56233a2fe4a8ecee7215 747a2070221f8c.jpg

mina
10-10-2014, 07:42 AM
I hate the kiss both cheeks thing or air kiss or whatever. I think it's so fake and gross. People in NYC do this all the time; my neighbors, friends of my husband, etc… It makes me think they are "puttin on airs" or trying to be more European or something. When I first experienced this I didn't know what they were doing and hugged them b/c that is what I thought was happening. AWKWARD!

purple
10-10-2014, 08:34 AM
Oh yea, I'll kiss anyone as well!

I'm a touchy feely person! It's part of my make up! The 'peace' in our church taken forever with all the hugging and kissing!

Manna
10-10-2014, 10:03 AM
I used to be a huge hugger, now I'm scaled down to moderate :P I also rarely initiate, because I don't want to overwhelm a non-hugger. :P

I am, however, NOT a kisser! It completely freaks me out when people kiss me! My family has never been one to give kisses other than to our significant others or our small children, so I'm just not used to it at all!

Sam
10-10-2014, 10:22 AM
Dh's boss told us once he stil kisses his step dad on the lips. He's in his 50's idk how old his step dad must be. Dh and I were both thinking that it's great that they love each other like blood but, I don't even kiss my dad or mom on the lips.

I've noticed Cassy won't kiss anyone but me or her daddy on the lips. When a grandparent leans in to kiss her she turns her head so they will kiss her cheek. So I'm going to go ahead and assume she won't be a kissy kissy person when she gets older.

Ramura
10-10-2014, 04:15 PM
I am not a hug initiator, but I don't mind returning a hug. :) I like to keep it short though. I know one very sweet lady who will hug you and won't let go for like 10 seconds. That starts to feel a bit awkward to me when it's just a greeting hug. If it's a comfort hug, like if you're going through something and need a literal shoulder to cry on, that's different of course.

I'm definitely a I-like-my-own-personal-space person, but I understand huggers and the cultural meaning behind hugs, so I have learned to appreciate them.

Definitely not a kisser though, especially on the lips. I kissed my nephew for a while until he grew out of it. Will probably do the same with other nieces and nephews. I probably wouldn't be weirded out if someone kissed me on the cheek, but definitely not something I'm used to.

purple
10-10-2014, 04:35 PM
Dh's boss told us once he stil kisses his step dad on the lips. He's in his 50's idk how old his step dad must be. Dh and I were both thinking that it's great that they love each other like blood but, I don't even kiss my dad or mom on the lips.

I don't kiss anyone but DH on the lips... well apart from my nephew!!!!!

Oh, and I did kiss one of the derby girls the other night, but... that's another story...

spiersdodgerblue
10-10-2014, 05:40 PM
Not a hugger!! But at church it seem like you just have to buck up or stay in your seat lol. There's one huggie lady at church I hide from haha. I hug my people :). and don't even thinkabout kissing me :/

Xinnamon
10-10-2014, 07:00 PM
I hate the kiss both cheeks thing or air kiss or whatever. I think it's so fake and gross. People in NYC do this all the time; my neighbors, friends of my husband, etc… It makes me think they are "puttin on airs" or trying to be more European or something. When I first experienced this I didn't know what they were doing and hugged them b/c that is what I thought was happening. AWKWARD!

I've found that lots of times these people don't even really kiss you, they just cheek rub you and make kissing sounds on both sides. :help:

tiredwalker
10-10-2014, 08:36 PM
I've got a bit of a battle inside. My Swedish side (God's frozen people) and my mommy side (touched way too much) makes me a little prickly, but I have an inner baba just waiting to jump out--I've started calling strangers "honey" and "sweetheart", even men. I guess that classifies me as a hugger-in-training.

mum2only1
10-11-2014, 07:46 AM
Oh yea, I'll kiss anyone as well!

I'm a touchy feely person! It's part of my make up! The 'peace' in our church taken forever with all the hugging and kissing!

I miss my old church they were very huggy kissy people. My new church aren't like that. I hate it. I felt special at my old church because of the huggy kissy people.
The kisses freaked me out some when I moved here, but it doesn't bother me anymore. It's the culture and how they greet. It would be odd if my friends at home did it though. It's not the culture there. My husband doesn't do it to any of my friends there. He hugs how they would hug.
I had an American friend here who would kiss my cheek and it sort of bugged me. She wasn't Australian so it was odd that she was doing that. I hated it actually.

mum2only1
10-11-2014, 07:51 AM
Dh's boss told us once he stil kisses his step dad on the lips. He's in his 50's idk how old his step dad must be. Dh and I were both thinking that it's great that they love each other like blood but, I don't even kiss my dad or mom on the lips.

I've noticed Cassy won't kiss anyone but me or her daddy on the lips. When a grandparent leans in to kiss her she turns her head so they will kiss her cheek. So I'm going to go ahead and assume she won't be a kissy kissy person when she gets older.

My mom had step brothers and one of her step brother's sons went to kiss my mom on the mouth and my mom quickly had to turn her cheek. That was just odd.
I kiss my husband and my son on the mouth.
I used to kiss my grandma and grandpa on the lips when I was a kid...but stopped as I got older.
My mom's family were a very huggy bunch so I don't mind hugging at all. It was weird hugging my dad's family. They are so stiff.

I find it odd that a 50 year old man kisses his step dad on the mouth. Maybe he's 80 or something.

purple
10-11-2014, 12:24 PM
I've found that lots of times these people don't even really kiss you, they just cheek rub you and make kissing sounds on both sides. :help:

Yea, thats the kind of kissing I do.... bring on the kissing!

Sam
10-11-2014, 12:38 PM
At my old church one of the elders was just a giant, he towered over everyone in that church. He loved to give everybody bear hugs and a kiss on top of your head, even the preacher that was always funny. But he's also the kind of person that I guess doesn't want to leave things unsaid. He'd always grab me and hug me and kiss and then grab my face and tell me how much he loved me and what a sweet lady I was lol. It was very sweet but a bit too much lol.

Jesus-is-the-1
10-12-2014, 10:14 AM
I'm not a hugger and definitely not a kisser. I will hug my boyfriend and my mom and that's about it. I have a couple close friends and we'll lightly hug occasionally. I won't kiss anyone on the mouth unless its someone I'm dating . For me personally, I don't like when people kiss kids on the mouth (just a personal thing that makes me cringe so please no offense to anyone here...I think it has to do with abuse in my past).

judy02
10-12-2014, 01:02 PM
I'm a moderate hugger too ;) Never used to be, but I think it's nice for people you're close to. I try to respect other people's boundaries though. And I think there are certain health benefits to it too! :P

Kissing...nah. To me, that is something more special reserved for very close family, significant other, young children etc.

A man in my parents church (seems nice enough guy) greets you with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek, and yeah kisses from people I don't know very well, make me feel a little awkward...

Kelly
10-28-2014, 11:04 PM
No, not really and always thought it was because I'm autistic.