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Sam
10-31-2014, 04:38 PM
Ok, a little background first. My dad and grandpa owned a construction business when I was a kid. Their only means of advertising was word of mouth, networking and business connections. Very personal, face to face, meeting with potential clients, etc. I was their secretary when I was a kid. I got in so much trouble once when a new client paged me and I called him saying "um, this is Samantha, um, did someone like, page me from this number?" Lol hey I was in 8 grade! Anyway, I went with them to meet with people and so I learned to be professional from 2 big, burly redneck men lol.
One of those things is you always give a firm handshake, look the person in the eye and smile when introducing yourself. It's an automatic thing these days.

I've noticed, though, that most women I've met will barely grasp your hand when shaking hands, so the pressure is uneven and I always feel like I'm crushing their hands. But it was drilled into my head that you always always give a firm handshake.

So I said all that to ask this, if/when you shake someone's hand, how do you do it? Do you give a firm handshake or a "ladylike" handshake?

mina
10-31-2014, 04:46 PM
I usually squeeze people's hands so I guess it's firm.

scarygothgirl
10-31-2014, 05:33 PM
I would probably be more of the 'ladylike'. I hate being touched so I want it to be over as soon as possible.

katzankatz
10-31-2014, 07:24 PM
As one who has arthritis in my hands, sometimes quite badly, I wish there were a polite non-awkward way to decline. If I'm in really bad shape I do the old Bob Dole and offer my left hand. If I'm in relatively good shape I still cringe inwardly because some people are just bone crushers, and it hurts!

I can see how a firm handshake is a good thing though. Combined with a smile and a friendly greeting you present yourself as the honest, trustworthy, nice person you are.

A firm handshake is good, but don't overdo.

DIANAC
10-31-2014, 10:06 PM
It depends on the situation. In a business setting, it's a firm handsqueeze with a bit of a shake. If I am shaking hands with a man, I don't want to pretend that I am a man and outdo his handshake.
In a personal setting, if I meet the person for the very first time, I will give a handsqueeze/little shake. But once we are acquainted, I will give a hug, if it is a woman or just a head nod, if it is a man.
When I met spiers for the first time, we just hugged! But I shook hands with her hubby :)

ps. Do you know that in Russia they still kiss woman's hand? :)

purple
10-31-2014, 10:24 PM
In a business/formal situation I always shake hands, and it's a firm sure handshake... Not a hand crusher, but something that is recognisably a handshake and not a hand'touch'
I can't stand weak handshakes...

snooch
10-31-2014, 11:10 PM
I don't like being touched either, so I want handshakes over as quickly as possible. I also have a little bit of arthritis in my hands, so squeezes can hurt, and firm grips can be really painful.

I grip the hand quickly and then let go. I don't squeeze, I just hold, very briefly, and then disengage.

Sam
10-31-2014, 11:27 PM
See, the arthritis thing is part of why I feel uncomfortable with an uneven handshake. I start to think, well what if this person has arthritis and I hurt her. I'm thinking I'm going to have to retrain myself on handshakes.

Sam
10-31-2014, 11:28 PM
ps. Do you know that in Russia they still kiss woman's hand? :)

Part of me thinks this is very sweet/chivalrous and part of me thinks "eww germs!"

spiersdodgerblue
11-01-2014, 12:37 AM
It depends on the situation. In a business setting, it's a firm handsqueeze with a bit of a shake. If I am shaking hands with a man, I don't want to pretend that I am a man and outdo his handshake.
In a personal setting, if I meet the person for the very first time, I will give a handsqueeze/little shake. But once we are acquainted, I will give a hug, if it is a woman or just a head nod, if it is a man.
When I met spiers for the first time, we just hugged! But I shook hands with her hubby :)

ps. Do you know that in Russia they still kiss woman's hand? :)
I am more inline with you on the manner of greetings. Funny you mention when we met because my husband and I spoke about how different you greeted the both of us. :) It was very respectful and appreciated. :)

GM
11-01-2014, 12:35 PM
It depends on the situation. In a business setting, it's a firm handsqueeze with a bit of a shake. If I am shaking hands with a man, I don't want to pretend that I am a man and outdo his handshake.
In a personal setting, if I meet the person for the very first time, I will give a handsqueeze/little shake. But once we are acquainted, I will give a hug, if it is a woman or just a head nod, if it is a man.
When I met spiers for the first time, we just hugged! But I shook hands with her hubby :)

ps. Do you know that in Russia they still kiss woman's hand? :)

This.

blythe_ann
11-01-2014, 01:18 PM
This is going to make me sound ridiculous, but I'm always (ALWAYS) surprised when someone shakes my hand. I don't know why, I'm just always taken back by someone reaching for me. So I'm pretty sure my hand is a limp noodle, because my mind is too busy trying to remember all the other things you do when people shake your hand and greet. So, in my mind, it's "oh, they are shaking my hand. Ok, smile, kid, and tell them your name and remember the name they tell you!". I don't even think about my hand, lol.

DIANAC
11-01-2014, 03:02 PM
So, in my mind, it's "oh, they are shaking my hand. Ok, smile, kid, and tell them your name and remember the name they tell you!". I don't even think about my hand, lol.
Forget about remembering names. It's not happening with me. It takes many handshakes, visits, meetings before I can put the names and the face together.

snooch
11-01-2014, 04:05 PM
Forget about remembering names. It's not happening with me. It takes many handshakes, visits, meetings before I can put the names and the face together.

You and me both. I'm the worst at names. Someone will tell me their name and I'll repeat it to myself five times in my head, and then they say the next thing and by then it's gone *poof* already.

Sam
11-01-2014, 04:47 PM
I've heard if you make it a point to say someone's name 3 times in the first conversation you have you'll always remember it.

BelovedDaughter
11-01-2014, 04:55 PM
I give firm handshakes but I'm not a bone crusher either. Limp noodle handshakes when you're expecting a firm one can be uncomfortable but I understand not everyone shakes hands!

DIANAC
11-01-2014, 04:57 PM
I've heard if you make it a point to say someone's name 3 times in the first conversation you have you'll always remember it.

Thanks! I have to try that. It makes sense.

GM
11-01-2014, 06:04 PM
I've heard if you make it a point to say someone's name 3 times in the first conversation you have you'll always remember it.

I haven't heard that Sandra...






:P

Sam
11-01-2014, 06:21 PM
It's Amanda thankyouverymuch :P

Xinnamon
11-01-2014, 10:56 PM
I think I give firm handshakes.

purple
11-01-2014, 11:02 PM
I've heard if you make it a point to say someone's name 3 times in the first conversation you have you'll always remember it.

I've heard that, I've tried it.. it doesn't work... I need to find a link to someone else I know or something like that!

mum2only1
11-02-2014, 06:12 AM
I always give a firm handshake. Especially with men in a business setting. I've had some men at church give such weak handshakes and I think to myself,"Hmmmm well do they do in the business world that they are in?"
I am gentle with women and give a much weaker handshake.
A firm handshake shows confidence.

FaithfulLadybug
11-03-2014, 11:57 PM
Mine is a solid, confident squeeze (medium firm, but confident), with a once up and down. I think I learned that from the men in my life when I was young also. I do agree with DianaC though... that sometimes it's not the best idea to outdo a man's handshake... they can see it as intimidating (as I've experienced). And sometimes men can shake like a limp dead fish, which feels very creepy to me... but when I was younger I just had to be a rebel and not care about that. Honestly though, I didn't fare well with that in the corporate world. lol But since I've had my own business, if a solid, confident handshake intimidates a man, well so be it. At least he'll know where I stand. ;)
Regarding on a personal level, I will again have to agree with DianaC.

Sage
11-06-2014, 08:42 PM
I give firm handshakes. I dislike "aggressive" handshakes, like it's a competition. I also dislike limp hand shakes in both men and women. To me they are like one sided hand shakes and that feels weird. A good handshake is a team effort with neither party being too "aggressive" or "wimpy".