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View Full Version : Do you remember the girl Vicissa on CF?


mum2only1
11-28-2009, 06:10 PM
Is she here? I was wondering about her this morning. I think moved back to Alabama from Michigan or something? She and her husband had problems. Just wondering if she talks to any or you.
Has anyone had contact with her?

christianmomma
11-28-2009, 06:26 PM
She moved back to Michigan from Louisiana. Last I talked to her she was doing well...She pops into CF from time to time, but has not made it over here.

Xinnamon
11-28-2009, 07:24 PM
She moved back to Michigan from Louisiana.

That was what I heard as well. I hope she's doing okay!

Melly
11-28-2009, 08:06 PM
I remember her, we use to be pretty close, I miss her :( I had her on Myspace but I deleted my Myspace.

Kelly
11-29-2009, 08:58 PM
Oh I remember her!

vicissa
01-04-2014, 04:00 PM
Hey there everyone!

snooch
01-04-2014, 04:04 PM
Glad you made it here, and welcome!

Sage
01-04-2014, 04:15 PM
Hi and welcome!

vicissa
01-04-2014, 04:20 PM
It's so nice to know that people have thought of me over the years! I tried to access my CF account to read some of my old posts, but wasn't able to. I tried to google to see if I would be able to view but nothing came up...except this thread! So I decided to hop on and say hello to all of you wonderful people.

It's been a roller coaster the last five years. A serious, fun, scary, growing, life-threatening, carefree, life-giving experience...but I am now happier than I have ever been. So here is a short (haha) update!

If you remember, I had a LOT of health problems related to allergies and being unable to get insurance in Louisiana we ended up moving back to Michigan. I was able to get into an allergist, find out all that I was allergic to, and after about one month, we found the perfect combination of medicines to bring my reactions under control. My hives and swelling went from an everyday occurrence, to twice a week, once a week, three times a month, once a month...to where I am now which is MAYBE once every couple months I'll have a minimal reaction, but it clears up quickly. :)

I got back home, and was back with my original church and was very happy with that...and to have a support system for help with the kids and the fallout from my health problems (I experienced some PTSD and anxiety issues due to all the chaos in my life and because of the constant reactions I was having). I wasn't isolated in the country anymore, and once the health issues were reigned in, I started college.
I did well, getting on the Dean's List for most semesters. I loved it! It helped me come out of my shell and have more confidence in my own abilities. Near to that time, I started to realize that what some people were saying in CF about my husband being mean was true. I called the domestic violence hotline who believed I was in an abusive relationship, so I went to the local YWCA for counseling.

Virginia
01-04-2014, 04:27 PM
Welcome! :hug:

snooch
01-04-2014, 04:45 PM
You have been through a lot! I'm so glad to hear that you've gotten the allergy issue under control. That must have been miserable to go through. It sounds like you're doing really well now :)

vicissa
01-04-2014, 04:51 PM
That was the start of big changes in my life.
Eventually, I confronted my husband about his verbal and emotional abuse of me and the kids. He fought it, called me names, said I was crazy...than apologized. Than he went back to doing all of the things he apologized for.
I went to the church with my dilemma, and told my husband that he needed to get help or get out.
The church agreed to meet with us for counseling, and upon one meeting the counselor said we were not eligible for marital counseling at this point because he was abusing me. We needed individual counseling. So they paid for him to go to a Domestic Violence Batterer's group, and the counselor at church saw me individually to work on my anxiety, PTSD, and the other fallout from being with an abuser for 10+ years. I also went to a DV survivors group in the same building that treated my husband, so we were receiving concurrent care and our group counselors were able to bounce things off of each other.

After a couple months, my husband decided he was "cured" and got everything he could get from the group and stopped going, though he still was being cruel, short-tempered, and mistreating me and the kids. He wasn't as physically abusive, and he did reign in his name-calling, but I believe that was because I wasn't taking it any longer.

Long story short, I am back in Louisiana! I finished all but two classes in school when I got offered a job in Louisiana I couldn't pass up. There was no work in Michigan, and I needed to be able to support my family. The kids stayed with my husband back in Michigan for six weeks, while I found us a place, and they finished out their semester of school. We were reunited Christmas 2010.

For six weeks, I stayed with a friend to save money. Her husband and her are a wonderful couple, they are a team and the love is very evident. It made it even more evident that I didn't have that. :(
I was so excited to see my family, and they arrived 3 days before Christmas accompanied by my mom, my sister, and sis's boyfriend. We did some unpacking, and they were only there for three days so we wanted to go into town, see the sights and get some pics. The very first day we fought because he didn't want to go, and all I wanted to do was to spend time with him and our children. I was being ridiculous because he just wanted to unpack so why not just go without him.
It didn't get better, and I just seen it more and more, he was and is and would continue to abuse us. I let him know multiple times that if he didn't stop treating us badly, I would leave. I finally told him it was over, that he could stay and save money, but we were done. I was done waiting for a change, done with the excuses.

When my grandmother was in town and he was still there saving (stalling), he began yelling at one of the kids because she told him to stop hitting the dog. My grandmother said something to him about mistreating her (she had stayed with us for one month and seen how he ignored/dismissed/talked down to my oldest who is not biologically his). He began yelling at her, calling her names, the kids were crying...and I told him to get out immediately.

I divorced him, and it was a messy, ugly thing. He assaulted me one day when I let him come over to visit with the kids for dinner, leaving handprints on my arms, squeezing me until I couldn't breath. It got even uglier when I began dating, including threats, tire slashing, and using the kids as pawns.

Long story even shorter and on to the happy part. I am remarried. I have a 5 month old son, and all my children are with me. My life--while not perfect--is filled with love and is finally peaceful. I have found the man that I always prayed for: a man who prays for me, who is adventurous, who is immensely loving, who is excited to spend time with me and the kids, who has a solid family whom he loves, and who has a heart of gold. He's beside me right now, our infant son is at my other side in a swing, and the other kids are being all techish in the living room. :)

mina
01-04-2014, 05:12 PM
Welcome! I am glad to see you here!

purple
01-04-2014, 05:17 PM
I have to admit I don't remember you from CF but it's great to have you here with us.

Sounds like a real roller coaster time but I'm so pleased you have found happiness and the health issues are under control

xx

BelovedDaughter
01-04-2014, 06:59 PM
I don't remember you either but I'm so glad you've found us! Welcome! :hug:

Kehaar
01-04-2014, 07:34 PM
Very glad to hear things are better for you at last. Welcome here and hope to see you around :hug:

snooch
01-04-2014, 08:30 PM
I'm so glad you have the life you do now - what a wonderful story to share :)

Xinnamon
01-04-2014, 09:30 PM
Vicissa! Welcome and I am happy to see you here! Thank you for your update, and I am so glad to hear that you are doing well! :hug:

Jolinar
01-05-2014, 11:48 AM
I don't remember you either but I'm glad things are better for you. Welcome.

Jesus-is-the-1
01-05-2014, 12:05 PM
Welcome :)

katzankatz
01-05-2014, 03:22 PM
Hi and welcome!

vicissa
01-05-2014, 06:20 PM
Thanks everyone! Hi Xinnamon! :) I hope the last few years have been great for you!

mum2only1
01-06-2014, 08:32 AM
Wow...Vicissa!!! So happy for you. I was Bethrow on CF and always followed your story. So great that you have moved forward from all of that mess. Awesome!

vicissa
01-06-2014, 12:00 PM
I remember you! :)
I remember you being one of the people who told me that he was mistreating me...and being concerned for me and the children. I'm glad I was able to find you (thanks to you) to let you know how I'm doing now.

Manna
01-07-2014, 12:35 AM
Hello and welcome!

judy02
02-27-2014, 07:20 AM
Hi there :) For some reason, I've only just seen this thread, and not sure if you are still posting here but still wanted to make sure I stopped by and said hi and to say welcome anyway :)

I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through, and was saddened to read all the trouble, drama and pain you've had to go through in your past but am so glad to hear of a happy ending to your story, and that you are in a happy and healthy relationship now :hug: I hope you are able to heal from what you have had to go through in your past and you are able to enjoy a much more peaceful future. I haven't been through what you have, but know what it is like to be around someone who is often bad tempered, where you feel that you are walking on egg shells. That's definitely not fun :/

Hope to see you more around here. Welcome again, and God bless you. The ladies are great here!